Exhibit 23 Consent of KPMG LLP The Board of Directors Southern Financial Bancorp, Inc. We consent to the incorporation by reference in Registration Statement No. 333-68706 on Form S-8, of Southern Financial Bancorp, Inc. of our report dated January 22, 2003, relating to the consolidated balance sheets of Southern Financial Bancorp, Inc. as of December 31, 2002 and 2001, and the related consolidated statements of income, comprehensive income, changes in stockholders' equity and cash flows for each of the years in the three-year period ended December 31, 2002, which report appears in the December 31, 2002 annual report on Form 10-K of Southern Financial Bancorp, Inc. /s/ KPMG LLP Richmond, Virginia March 28, 2003